Forgiveness- A powerful exchange process

What if I told you that choosing forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools in your life to release freedom?

It truly is!


There were a few circumstances in my life that held me captive. One situation was a situation with my dad. In many ways, he was fun, easy going, well-liked and a hard worker. But then there were times he wasn’t any of those things. Those times became more frequent as I grew up.  He was someone else. He turned into a drunk, unsafe angry man who was unpredictable.  The truth is I didn’t like him. I tried to never be near him and held him at a safe distance.  As I grew older this perpetuated an anger that sat within me and followed me where ever I went. Finding ways to provoke him and fight for control became my norm as I grew into teenage years. There was a large part of me that wanted to be free from this anger and control but how would I be protected? I mean my own anger in this situation I kept him at a safe distance and I was learning fast that self protection was integral in my survival.


Here is what I didn’t know…


I didnt kmow that I had a Heavenly Father who loved me beyond measure. He loved me with an everlasting love that would forever change the course of my life. What’s more is he is aware of what has happened and he wants to help me with it. That part of the equation was foreign to me but filled me with courage to try.

Now, In all things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that death nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the LOVE OF GOD in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

As the revelation that I was an  orphan settled upon me, in unison to that, I was found by a beautiful couple who demonstrated the Fathers love. They sat, cried and persisted with me when many would’ve given up.

Finally, I sat down on the floor of a church I made a choice to forgive my dad for all the ways that he hurt me and didn’t protect me. I can still recall the fear of letting go, the acknowledgment of the pain I had worked very hard to suppress and the incredible relief I had that I was wanted by the Father. I fell in love with God that day and rose up a banner of love for every orphan he would put in my pathway.

What I want to focus on today is the beautiful exchange process that happened when I made that choice. I made the choice to forgive because my Father asked me too. I put my heart in his and trusted he knew much that I didn’t and I needed him desperately to help me out of the prison I was in.

It became true for me that the Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness ALL who keep his covenant. (Psalm 25).

I share this very vulnerable story to prove the power of forgiveness. My story didn’t end there. I was given a beautiful opportunity to sit with my Father and let him know I had completely forgiven him for ALL that he did. Not only did I forgive him, but I loved him. The look on his face was worth all the suffering. He was completely shocked. My father died at the tender age of 54 and I was given the opportunity to be there with him with my beautiful sister and brothers to say goodbye.

This is one of the many ways that I learnt how to surrender my position and take up the Lords. The Lord is always longing to bring healing and wholeness.  He taught me have a merciful heart and filled me with great compassion for those who aren’t free. This is servant leadership.  There are other posts on the blog that illustrate effective servant heart leadership. You can check this out here.

I honestly don’t believe we have nailed forgiveness until we feel Gods love for that person. Please hear my heart on this, I am not suggesting complete access to your heart and life just because we made this choice. Some people we need to forgive from a distance. Wisdom and godly counsel is needed here. Healthy boundaries are essential for personal growth.

I would love to take this moment to honour those who are suffering. Those that are without a family or are in families that have grown cold and distant. Over the next few weeks, we will look at the power of forgiveness on the blog and through live videos to help build hope for you to take that brave step. This post is not to illustrate what you MUST do. The truth is you don’t have to do anything. This is to invite you to grab the hands of Jesus and a close friend and bravely make that choice to make a choice to forgive.

The Exchange Process

There is a beautiful exchange process that takes place when we make this choice and often it will exceed our expectations.

God asked me to make this choice because he knew this pain and animosity were blocking my ability to be successful. Perhaps the barriers you may be experiencing are indicators of areas that need Gods love and attention?

I’d like to encourage you to see what the exchange process can be for you…

You will be filled with joy and peace and will abound in hope (Romans 15:13)

Your path will be known to you and you will receive the presence of God. (Psalm 16:11)

Your joy (happiness) will be full. (John 15:11)

The Lord will fight for you as you rest (Exodus 14:14)

He will give you strength for whatever you need to walk through and increase your power. (Isiah 40:29)

He will help you in your fear (Isiah 43:2)

You will become effective leaders (Isiah 61:1)

You will gain wisdom (James 1:5)

I would like to leave you with one last thought…

Jesus said:

You have heard that it was said, eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. Matthew (5:38-40)

As a visionary, I want to illustrate to you what I believe Jesus meant by that. Try to stand someone in front of you. Attempt to slap their right cheek with your right hand. Now ask them to extend their left cheek. Now attempt to slap their left cheek with your right hand. I hope you saw what I saw. It is near impossible without bending your hand in a weird way to slap the other cheek.

It astounds me how standing tall hand in hand with the Lord empowers us to be who we are called to be. Today I choose mercy first because nothing ushers in the Spirit of God faster than grace, love and mercy.

I will leave you with that thought today,

Looking forward to seeing you online soon!

In love and unity,


Reflections on a self-aware servant heart

Hello! How I have missed you all! This post is to first say I am sorry it has been quiet. As a family, we have been working through a growing time. Hubby got a new job (YAY), transitioning to becoming a homeschool family and spending some time doing some personal reflection. Its been busy but oh so good!

I have a ton of fresh new insight that I am so excited to share with you today!

This new revelation is about how God, as our loving Father, is ALWAYS trying to draw us deeper into what matters to him, so we can better reflect him in our world.

Even as I write this I am keenly aware that there are those of you who are profoundly struggling. I hope this post will inspire you for own journey! I KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT I KNOW that he NEVER gives up on us. I hope you feel encouraged as I crack open my heart and share what I have learnt in this new season.

God has been demonstrating to me the need to serve and how serving is where our destiny often lies. Self-awareness is a key to helping us fulfil that very purpose.

A quote I heard recently reflected this idea poignantly.

“It’s amazing what a person can accomplish if they do not care who gets the credit”

The truth is I had it wrong. I  WANTED to matter and make a difference in my world and those around me but not at a cost to me. I wanted it to be done the way I saw it fit and in my own timing! OH MAN! now I see how silly that all is now. The truth is the most effective leaders in our world today have often had a very personal battle and have come out victorious.

Jesus made destiny very clear when he said:

The person that serves you like a servant is the greatest among you. But those who exalt themselves will be humbled and those who humble themselves will be exalted “Matthew 11-12.

Self-awareness is a key to a servant’s heart 

This is where self-awareness enters in. Self-awareness is defined as “having a conscious knowledge of our own character, feelings, motives and desires. It’s a call to find those deep belief systems within us that determine our behaviour.

We are judged by our behaviour whether we like it or not. We make a choice to trust someone or reject someone based on their behaviour and we do the same. An effective leader will ponder these things in the hope of acing the test of behaviour and reflect Jesus in all that we do.

Self-Awareness is not a new concept.  The Bible is very clear on the matters of self-awareness. Let us take a look..

Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by doing so you will save both yourselves AND YOUR HEARERS. (1 Timothy 4:16).

1 Timothy reveals the importance of persistently keeping yourself watchful (aware) and to persistently do it. The effects of this diligence will not only affect us but also those around us.

Proverbs 21:2 is one of my favourite scriptures on self-awareness. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart”

This so truly expresses self-awareness biblically as it reflects that the Father values, heart.  How many of us would be guilty of weighing our life by the terms of the world…? We weigh our worth falsely. It is true,  we do need somewhere to live and we all desire to set our kids up for success but at what cost?   These concerns are not what the Lord is concerned with. The heart is where it’s at and the more we reflect a heart that is self-aware the more our children will as well.

I suspect that if we diligently, and vulnerably choose self-awareness in the areas of our lives that need his love. He will bless us by his goodness and give the desires of our heart. This has certainly been my truth.

Addtionally, serving surpasses all barriers and demonstrates the power of the love of God. It illustrates love that is pure and right which then, in turn, aids us to become effective in whatever it is we desire to do.

Jesus understood this beautifully and he reflected this message continually throughout the gospels. The only way we can truly be servants is to be self-aware of what stands in the way and fight the good fight to stay humble. The call to live a life surrendered to the will of God is a call to fight against staying on the surface and drawing deeper into what ails us or hinders us. It reaches for servanthood in ALL areas of our life.

It begs the question… Is my life surrendered in all areas? Do I see every area in my life flourishing and growing?

Now I share this with you today because now I can see that he had a plan for our lives that surpassed my own expectations. A knawing feeling was weighing on me that I hadn’t nailed the self-aware servant heart thing. Some personal reflection and prayer lead us to realize there were some things that needed to do attended to. Homeschooling our children and teaching and training them in the Kingdom was high on that list. It challenged me in ways I hadn’t anticipated but I’m growing in ways I never thought I would.

I would encourage you to allow the Holy Spirit take you on a journey of self-awareness. For those of you who may be struggling with hope or faith, I pray that you hear the heart of the father. He cares and loves you beyond anything you could imagine. Realness is the key to success in this. The more real you get about what hinders you in life the more real God gets in showing you the way out. I pray this reality for you.

In unity and love